As with any violent crime, there's nothing you can do to guarantee
that you will not be a victim of sexual violence. But there are steps
you can take to help reduce your risk of being assaulted.
Who are the Offenders?
- It is not always the stranger hiding in the bushes. In fact,
approximately two-thirds of victims know their perpetrators. It could
be a social acquaintance, friend, neighbor, family member, coach, etc.
- Many rapists show no evidence of psychological disturbance. Most
are in control of their behavior and know it is illegal.
Avoid Dangerous Situations
- Be aware of your surroundings. Knowing where you
are and who is around you may help you to find a way to get out of a bad
situation. Learn a well-lit route back to your place of residence and
avoid putting headphones in both ears, especially if you are walking
alone.
- Try to avoid isolated areas and becoming isolated with
someone you don't trust or someone you don't know well. It is
more difficult to get help if no one is around.
- Walk with purpose. Even if you don't know where
you are going, act like you do. Try not to load yourself down
with packages or bags as this can make you appear more vulnerable.
- Trust your instincts. If a situation or location
feels unsafe or uncomfortable, it probably isn't the best place to be.
- Make sure your cell phone is with you and charged
and that you have cab money.
In a Social Situation
- When you go to a party, go with a group of friends.
Arrive together, check in with each other and leave together.
- Practice safe drinking. If someone offers to get
you a drink from the bar at a club or party, go with them to the bar to
order it, watch it being poured, and carry it yourself. Don't drink
from punch bowls or other large, common open containers. Don't leave
your drink unattended while talking, dancing, using the restroom, or
making a phone call. Watch out for your friends, and vice versa.
- Have a buddy system. Don't be afraid to let a
friend know if something is making you uncomfortable or if you are
worried about your or your friend's safety.
- If someone you don't know or trust asks you to go somewhere alone,
let him or her know that you would rather stay with the group.
- Be aware of your surroundings. Knowing where you
are and who is around you may help you to find a way out of a bad
situation.
If You Are Being Pressured
- Be true to yourself. Do what feels right to you
and what you are comfortable with. Don't feel obligated
to do anything you don't want to. "I don't want to" is always a good
enough reason.
- Have a code word with your friends or family so
that if you feel threatened you can call them and communicate your
discomfort without the person you are with knowing.
- Lie. If you don't want to hurt the person's
feelings it is better to lie and make up a reason to leave than to stay
and be uncomfortable, scared, or worse.
- Try to think of an escape route. How would you try
to get out of the room? Where are the doors? Windows? Are there people
around who might be able to help you? Is there an emergency phone
nearby?
- If you and/or the other person have been drinking, you can say that
you would rather wait until you both have your full judgment.
Online Safety
- Never give out any personal information when you
are online. If you post details about your life, people may be able to
figure out your full name, where you work or go to school, and even
where you live. Use privacy settings on MySpace, Facebook, and blog
sites so only people you trust can read your personal info.
- If you decide to meet up with someone you meet online (assuming
that you're of legal age), take sensible precautions.
Take a friend with you, meet in a public place and make sure someone
knows where you are going and when you will be back.
- If you don't already use up-to-date anti-virus and anti-spyware
programs in order to keep your computer safer, we recommend that you
either buy or download a free program that will help to protect
you and your computer.
- If you have any reason to think that your computer may not be safe
due to spyware, keystroke logging, viruses, or someone monitoring your
computer usage in some other way, please consider using an
alternate computer. If you can't borrow a friend's, you may be able to
access a free computer at your local public library or local community center.
- Avoid websites with which you are unfamiliar. If
you feel uncomfortable, log off.
Travel Safety
- If you are walking— remain mentally alert, carry a
small noisemaker (like a whistle) and/or flashlight on your keychain,
take major streets and paths rather than less-populated shortcuts, keep
some change accessible just in case you need to use a pay phone
- While in the car— keep your doors locked, have
extra car necessities (oil, jumper cables, etc.), try not to wait until
the last minute to fill your gas tank, plan your route before you start
driving
- When taking a cab— if possible, talk to someone on
your cell while you are in the cab to let him or her know where you are
until you reach your home
- When riding the bus or subway— consult a schedule
to avoid waiting for a long time at a stop, use the busiest and best-lit
stop possible, tell the driver or use the emergency signal if someone
is bothering you
Protecting your Child
- Abusers will sometimes tell a child that the abuse is a secret. Talking
openly and directly about abuse-related issues teaches
children that it is okay to talk to you when they have questions.
- Teach children that it is not ok to be touched if they do
not want to be touched — whether it's by a stranger or someone they
know or trust. Let children know that other people should not
be touching them, and if such a situation does occur, the child should
tell a trusted adult as soon as possible.
- Ask your child about the people they go to school with or play
with; get to know the other parents and adults around your child.
- Create a code word so that if your child feels
uncomfortable for any reason, they can indicate discomfort or fear
discretely.
- Role-play: Practice with your child about what to
say and what to do in an uncomfortable situation. You may even try
role-playing, so that they know what to do if they are uncomfortable.
- Talk about the media. If your child watches a lot
of television or plays video games, watch or play with them. Use
examples from TV or games that you have watched or played together to
start conversations about sexuality and sexual abuse.
- Make time to spend with your child. If your child
comes to you with concerns or questions, make time to talk to them.
Intervening to Help a Friend
- If you see someone in danger of being assaulted, step in and offer
assistance or create a diversion (ex. spill a drink, cut in on a dance,
or interrupt the conversation) to make it easier for the prospective
victim to walk away. NOTE: Before stepping in, make
sure to evaluate the risk. If it means putting yourself in danger, call
911 instead.
- There is evidence that the mere presence of bystanders reduces
crime and that criminals try to avoid being observed while committing
crimes. If you are witnessing an uncomfortable situation, don't leave
the room and keep your eyes indirectly on the interaction.
- If you believe someone is dangerously intoxicated or has been
drugged, do not leave them alone for any reason, get them immediate
medical attention, and keep their beverage for drug testing.
- If someone you know has been assaulted, listen, be there,
encourage your friend to report the crime to law enforcement
(call 911 in most areas), and let them know that professional help is
available at this website or by calling us at 1.800.656.HOPE (press ONE
at the menu).
- Become knowledgeable about the issue and share your
knowledge with others. Let friends know what to look for in a
potential offender and how to react if ever in a dangerous situation.
Sexual assault is a crime of motive and opportunity. Ultimately,
there is no surefire way to prevent an attack. If you or someone you
know has been affected by sexual violence, it's not your fault. You are
not alone. We are available 24/7 to help you — just call us at
1.800.656.HOPE (press ONE at the menu). You can also get live help
through the Online Hotline. |